five a.m. insomniac

i'm coming to consciousness

but i'm still blind

am i changing for the better?

what would it take me to fall in love?

i'm constantly surrounded by beauty.

will i take the time to enjoy it now that i'm sober?

my sudden disappointment of a sudden discovery.

my promising hopes for passionate, freedom loving roommates

have been shattered

by the reality that i'm living with kids too taken

with experimental drug use.

when it's all they speak of

i want to leave.

i had coffee with my father this morning

he has accepted my soon approaching departure

we both agree that i'm in need of some sleep

with a borrowed pen and an imploding heart

i'm getting closer and closer
the thought of leaving this all behind
minutes ago i had a large map unfolded
i'm taking it with me
we're going away for the weekend
killing miles by foot
and in the cars of strangers
i won't be saying goodbye this time

warm-hearted women, but i can still see my breath

i've come to the realization
that it's the women that i spend my time with
that write most of my beautiful words for me.
they inspire me to pick up the pencil and pen.
the city was cold this morning
as i rode my bike through it's streets