What Is It To Be Balanced?

I used to think of killing myself when times got hard. 

Now that I've given up chemical use among other vices

I think of escape in other ways

What if I was to fake my own death

pack a bag and leave the state?

Certain circumstances hold me back for now.

Am I selfish?

I've realized that I'm drawing into myself

more and more

everyday I seem a little more quiet.

I find happiness in my silence.

Others may think that I'm lackluster

but my mind is so LOUD

I don't need to impress anyone around me

they deserve nothing.

And this is where I ask the questions of balance.

I believe that I should be leading a life of love

but most of the time I feel that I'd much rather be alone.

I don't want to say goodbye because I don't care to ever see them again,

But, of course, I will.

Whether in the morning; or a day or two. 

To show a genuine interest in the lives of those around you

this seems to be a rare quality.

To love my enemies is a guideline that Jesus teaches us

but what if I don't have any enemies

Just those that I care little about.

I feel neutral about most people.

It'd be fair to say that their insults don't hurt me

and that their compliments don't raise my spirits.

Have I lost my empathy

Have I lost my mind

I don't seem to know anymore.

Balance, Balance, Balance.

I need you in my life.

God, God, God.

I need you in my life.

Sobriety and Individuality

People boast of individuality and what differentiates themselves from those around, 
but I still see most of them as carbon copies of one another. 
Society will have you believe that to be intoxicated (or with a desire to be) is to fit in. 
To fit in is to be important. 
At the same time, the youth of today seem to feel a need for escape. 
Whether it be through chemical use or other destructive behavior. 
They like feeling in control of some aspect of their lives even if it be a contribution to their own downfall. 
But most of all it's enjoyable to be able to break free from the great depression of their lives if it be for no more than just a few hours or so (however long one's "high" may last).

The Great Depression That Is Our Lives