Brighter Futures (Constant Evolution of Mind and Spirit)

Five years ago
I would have told you
that by the year 2014
I would have a college degree
in Fine Art Photography and Design

I thought that I would be a professional,
a college graduate,
operating out of my own photo studio

A year later I transferred to another university
I dropped my photography aspirations all together
and decided that graphic design was the only solution

Half a year later I became heavily influenced
by anarchism and other anti-capitalistic political movements
My decisions began resting on the fact that college was disastrous
Standardized education would have been the death of me
financially, as well as spiritually

I did not register for any classes the next semester
and freely labeled myself
the infamous title of a "college dropout".
I figured that it was something to be proud of.
Single handedly I had saved myself
from one of the largest gears of an oppressive system.

Yet I had not escaped unscathed.
I had rescued my spirit, but not my bank account.
The debt that I owed on the loans
was going to force me to remain employed
for longer than I felt content with being.

But before rejecting
what I had come to believe was the best option
in contrast with joining the workforce directly
or enlisting in the military (those are the only options, right?)
I saw a girl with bright pink hair waiting for the bus

Sometimes I will decide that it just isn't worth it
to put myself out there
to talk to a complete stranger
in finger-crossed hopes of a genuine connection

But this was to be a seemingly small decision
(I am curious as to how many of these we miss on a daily basis?)
that was going to determine
the next chapter of my so-called existence

We spoke of her punk rock pins
We spoke of women's studies
We spoke of coffee shops
We spoke of cooperative houses

We spoke of cooperative houses
I moved into the Fletcher Collective
a few months later

I worked and worked and worked
as wait staff for a high-end catering company
as a food runner at a cabaret and grille
as a cashier at a fast food joint
All at the same time

Then I got a call from the local Food Co-op
The following day I was the proud owner of four jobs
The day after that I quit three jobs

Quitting a job
is the best thing that could happen to any of us
That way, we’d quit treading water
and do something with our lives.

There is no such release as sitting down with your employer
and letting them know that you've found something much better.

Maybe you give two-weeks notice
But you may also smirk at the thought
of never showing up to another shift there again
no warning at all.
There will be no need to list them as a reference
because you will have no unemployed gap to explain.
You were working two jobs at the time.
No need to list the third, that seems like overkill.

For once in my life,
and I've been employed since I was 16,
I was working a job
in which I knew that I was making a difference.
I believed in the ends and means of The Peoples Food Co-op of Kalamazoo.

But I was still yearning for experience
Something was missing
I had my extremist political views
I was living and working in cooperatives

I wanted to travel the world
with a backpack that held
the very little possessions that I would own
I wanted to give all of my things away

I sold my car
I donated most of my music and clothing
If it wasn't beautiful or necessary
than I did not want it.

I followed through with this
The first plan in my life that didn't change
before I could make it into a reality.
With just the pack on my back
and my thumb stuck out
on the shoulders of the nations highways,
I traveled like I never would have of dreamt was possible.

I began to see a very noticeable difference
between me and the other traveling kids that I came across.
I didn't smoke or drink
I believed in a higher power that was guiding me along.
I began to find myself within my lapsed moral system

The Almighty had a plan for me
I was to continue wandering the earth
eating and sleeping in the streets with the less fortunate,
my true brothers and sisters

I thought that I would be doing this for the rest of my life.
But there was a girl.
She had lived down the hall from my room
in the Collective house.
I was about to leave town
so she told me how she felt.
We fell in love.
Her mother hated the thought of her hitchhiking.

I continued traveling in any way that I could
with whatever free time I had.
As I did this, my truest passion began to blossom
Gardening, Farming, Homesteading, Living off the Land

I was going to be a Photographer with my studio in Chicago
I was going to be an Anarchist, College-Dropout Activist
I was going to be a Punk-ass, Intentionally Homeless Hitchhiker
I was going to be a Wandering Spiritual Pilgrim
I was going to be a Back-Country Farmer in love.

I am a man with a love for nature and self-sustainability.
I rest my faith in a God that I can feel working in my life.
I hitchhike or ride my bicycle to get most places.
I still hold my anarchist ideals close to my heart.
I am happy that I didn't continue my bank-breaking education,
but that I persist to learn on an everyday basis.
I know how to use a camera in a very technical way
and can explain all of the complicated settings that could give your pictures a professional look.
I am in love with a woman from Vicksburg

Life Through the Eyes of Love

I never knew that I
might feel this way

The way a mother or father
might feel
when their child does not return home
late one afternoon from a friends house.

The way a husband or wife
might feel
when they are told that their life partner is gone
forever, never to return.

To be worried sick to the point of nausea
Looking out the window every three minutes
Wishing that her phone wasn't dead and lying next to me.

I have never been in love like this before.
I have never cared so much.
I have never been worried sick.