Hitchhiking Home for the Holidays

Just a few days from Christmas
I've made it to my snow-covered home in the country
Took a bus out of the city
Caught rides with strangers

The skeletons of the trees show
Fresh tractor tracks in the snow
This house is warm
The sunlight seeps through the windows

No gifts will be under the tree this year
We've decided to not buy into the consumerist agenda
As always, though, we will love and understand
We will reach out to each other with genuine interest

howl at the moon, scream at the stars

November is going fast
as did the months before it
I was going fast
howling at the moon
screaming at the stars

i was on the cold pavement
broken bones?
blood soaking through my courdoroy?
no, only a fear of the unknown

i found that my bicycle fit the parking post
perfectly, much like a jigsaw puzzle

the all-to-familiar feeling
of waiting for my loved ones
to rescue the "weathered traveler"

curled up in the forest
resting my head on my pack
the moon lit the night
the stars looked on me
i couldn't break the quiet

the most beautiful day, the sun set, i dreamt of murder

I was a carpenter
I was a gardener
I was a seamstress
I was a facilitator
I was a musician
I was a collectivist

we rode around our city
discovering corners I had never seen
the sun was setting
the rails caught my eye
i decided that I would be walking them
soon enough

that night
after dinner and conversation
the night was full with our voices shouting
as we played our instruments
golden light flooded the rooms

the garden was safe
my clothes were mended

as i finally fell asleep
I had the darkest dreams
of out of body experiences
watching shadows take control
of my actions
I was terrified.
I awoke to see my friend asleep
for the first time in weeks.

As I rode through my city,

I thought of cell phones.
Very few individuals that I saw didn't have one
plastered to their face or to to their fingertips.
Such social dependency on such a worthless device
that I'd much rather see smashed on the pavement.
I wish for everyone to look up from their iPods and iPhones
Look around and enjoy the beauty of life
Have an early morning conversation, heart to heart
without a microcomputer playing the part of the middleman

I thought of fashion.
It seems to have become such an extension of who we are.
I understand the art of expression and everyone wanting to be different.
But to be different doesn't mean to wear exactly what everyone else
in your "subculture" is wearing.
Don't dress to impress, Dress for comfort and warmth.
It has also become a sign of social status.
I don't buy into it.

I thought of women.
So many beautiful figures and profiles.
I could love them all.
But how many wouldn't be terrified by the way that I see the world
And my plan to enjoy life in the simplest of ways.
Would any of them travel the land with me?
Hand in hand?

I thought of many things.
But I mostly thought of how it is my responsibility
I should reconnect with my fellow man.
I should love, without boundaries.

What Is It To Be Balanced?

I used to think of killing myself when times got hard. 

Now that I've given up chemical use among other vices

I think of escape in other ways

What if I was to fake my own death

pack a bag and leave the state?

Certain circumstances hold me back for now.

Am I selfish?

I've realized that I'm drawing into myself

more and more

everyday I seem a little more quiet.

I find happiness in my silence.

Others may think that I'm lackluster

but my mind is so LOUD

I don't need to impress anyone around me

they deserve nothing.

And this is where I ask the questions of balance.

I believe that I should be leading a life of love

but most of the time I feel that I'd much rather be alone.

I don't want to say goodbye because I don't care to ever see them again,

But, of course, I will.

Whether in the morning; or a day or two. 

To show a genuine interest in the lives of those around you

this seems to be a rare quality.

To love my enemies is a guideline that Jesus teaches us

but what if I don't have any enemies

Just those that I care little about.

I feel neutral about most people.

It'd be fair to say that their insults don't hurt me

and that their compliments don't raise my spirits.

Have I lost my empathy

Have I lost my mind

I don't seem to know anymore.

Balance, Balance, Balance.

I need you in my life.

God, God, God.

I need you in my life.

Sobriety and Individuality

People boast of individuality and what differentiates themselves from those around, 
but I still see most of them as carbon copies of one another. 
Society will have you believe that to be intoxicated (or with a desire to be) is to fit in. 
To fit in is to be important. 
At the same time, the youth of today seem to feel a need for escape. 
Whether it be through chemical use or other destructive behavior. 
They like feeling in control of some aspect of their lives even if it be a contribution to their own downfall. 
But most of all it's enjoyable to be able to break free from the great depression of their lives if it be for no more than just a few hours or so (however long one's "high" may last).

The Great Depression That Is Our Lives

SO MUCH HAPPIER

i honestly believe that a family who sits around the dinner table every night 

around their home-cooked meal, comprised of food that they have grown with their own hands,
discussing much deeper than the surface issues,
showing a genuine interest in each others lives
will be SO MUCH HAPPIER
than the family that rarely sees one another,
but have enough money for a large house with a few rooms
that are fully furnished but never occupied
the kids have never seen their mother smile
 and father is never home

WHY

Why do people want to be remembered?
Why does anyone even want to be noticed?

It's amazing to me that most of the world isn't even aware of my existence.
Not only that, but that I'm content with the fact that some people may not like me.

Relationships are strange. 
Once we’re in one (with family, a spouse, whomever), 
we promptly begin to take the other person for granted 
and move on to impressing strangers instead– say, our boss. 
Then, once we’ve impressed our boss, we start taking him for granted too, 
and so on, in an endless cycle of apathy. 
It’s like we always prefer to impress and charm the new than to work on what we already have.

People who care too much of how they are perceived cannot change the world.
I will walk where I want to walk. 
I won't accept false choices. 
I won't let people dictate how I should live my life.

a collective mind, a collective heart

i come home most nights to a kitchen lit by the sun
dinner is sometimes almost done or waiting on the table
discussions as we gather range from everyones' daily pursuits
to corrupt political systems that are destined to fail

we work together, we eat together, we live together

late summer rain

i open all the windows
and believe that my mother is crying tonight
with the rain

i'll hold my breath

but i won't bet my life on it.
the sun sets west, so i know where i'm going.

Cinq choses que les policiers ne veulent pas que vous sachiez!

Police officers have an obvious psychological advantage in any confrontation. They wear uniforms, talk loudly and carry guns.

Much of their apparent authority is derived from officers’ assumption that the public is ignorant of its legal rights and easily intimidated.

There are five legal rights in particular that police officers do not want you to know.

* A police officer cannot agree to drop charges in exchange for your cooperation. He or she simply doesn’t have the authority. The district attorney and the judge make those decisions. This is helpful to remember when the officer says they will go easier on you if you lead them to the victim’s body.

* You have the right to say no. For example:

Officer: “May I search your car?”

You: “No.”

Officer: “May I come in?”

You: “No.”

Officer: “While we’re waiting for your attorney, would you answer a few questions so we can save some time?”

You: “No.”

* You don’t have to go to the police station to give a statement. Unless the police officer shows up with an arrest warrant, or arrests you on the spot (think DWI), you don’t have to go anywhere at an officer’s request.

* From the time of first contact with a police officer, you should assume that you are being recorded. Stopping your car by the side of the road, talking on the phone at the police station, being fingerprinted, standing in the corner of a room in the station waiting for the officer to return — these are all potentially embarrassing moments that will be replayed in glorious Technicolor for a jury.

* No matter how much you are provoked, you don’t ever want to give the least hint of physical resistance. No kicking, spitting, hitting, cussing, slapping a hand away — or even looking like you are about to do any of those things. An officer’s wrongdoing will be subsumed by your aggressive action.

Planning Your Next Getaway? (I'm the Monster, I Exist)

"I'm the monster and I exist
On this summit I am lost
On it's slopes I've seen the world
As she was meant to be seen"
-Conrad Keely

This is a catalyst.
I'm not going to tell you what to do or how to feel.
I'm not going to try to sell you anything.
I'm only going to do my best to open your eyes to the beauty around you.
This isn't about you.
This isn't about me.
This is     about us.
This is     about humanity.
This is     about an alternative to the life that you've been taught to live.

Education (and in my opinion, self-education) is one of the most beneficial practices one can involve themselves with.
By self-education, I don't mean solely reading literature in the solitude of your home.
I believe that this process is defined within a much wider encompassing circle of actions.
Opening one's self up to the realization that something can be learned from everyone we cross paths with in this life. This includes Bill O'Reilly, as well as Adolf Hitler. No one has everything right, but not anyone has everything wrong either. There is truly a different lesson to be taught by each and every breathing soul.

Hitler for example: 
-Despised alcohol and cigarettes. He was aware of the physical damage they cause to the body. 
-He also practiced vegetarianism, as he had a love for animals. As a young man, out of sympathy and for his own amusement, he sometimes fed the mice in his room. Under his dictatorship, animal experimentation was limited by laws against vivsection.

As for Bill O'Reilly, I haven't searched deeply enough. 

I'm not by any means a neo-nazi. My intent is to use a man, who could be described by our society (and myself) as "one of the most evil men that has ever lived," as an example that there's some light inside of everyone. But once again, I don't support Bill O'Reilly in any way.

Open yourself up to experience, to assimilation.
I've learned so much more about life while riding my bicycle across the landscape
than I ever did in the entire 16 years of my govermental-funded education.
Explore with no destination.
It's a lot more fun that way.

Some will tell you that I'm a monster.
And I very well may be,
But those people don't want you to know what it means to live.
Those people don't want you to know what they've been afraid of their entire lives.

The Sun and Quilt

mid-day memories

the sun was shining

on and off

she fell asleep in my arms

in the quilt my mother had made

i suddenly woke up

two hours had passed

she was late for her audition

but she made it anyway

my wanderlust and a heart of fire

i love where i am.

But I know that it will be time to leave soon.

After three years of college, however, I decided that I had better things to do.

I don't need a degree to live the life that I want. 

And I don't need to add to the debt that I've incurred towards the government.

Most of the time I realize that I have my books to keep me company.

I have my early mornings to give me the thrills i feel I need to keep me alive.

When the streets are empty, this city sleeps deeper than most.

I run and I run and I run.

I wear myself out.

It is impossible to connect with everyone.

I realize this now.

Not everyone is going to love me.

But not everyone is going to hate me either.

What more can I ask for, but a little inconsistency.

I love the world.

I love everyone in it.

But I don't care what most people do

And I care even less about what most people say.

Because none of it amounts to much anyway

I don't need to hear about the party you ended up at last night

or how you're therapist told you that you aren't right

Why would I care to know how many girls you've slept with

when most of them were too drunk to recall it either way.

I need sleep.

The board has taken it into consideration

They took a vote and said "yes,

You can sleep
if only you will do your best 

to stop thinking of how you don't fit in

and how happy that makes you"

that when they are holding tightly onto their comebacks

without listening to each others words

I just lay back and smile because i don't need to listen anymore
the stars haven't started shining yet
but soon they will be brighter than ever before

who do I need to make love me?

who do i need to make care?

they may have their empty cups

broken hearts and cigarettes

but i have an unrelenting desire

my wanderlust and a heart of fire

A Day Spent in My House

I had today off of work.

So I read books.

And I mowed the lawn.

I also made myself dinner.

And I washed all of the dishes.

I just finished eating the asparagus dish that I created.

I've included the recipe below, In hopes that you might try it as well. 

Asparagus officinalis is my most favorite vegetable, it makes me smile rather brightly.

Ingredients

2 tablespoons of earth balance soy spread

1 bunch of fresh, organic asparagus (cut to inch long pieces)

1/2 orange bell pepper, chopped

1 bunch of kale, chopped

1 clove of garlic, minced

• 
  

Directions

1. Melt the "butter" in a skillet over medium-high heat.
2. Add garlic, asparagus, pepper, and kale; cover and simmer for 12 minutes, stirring occasionally.
3. Add some pepper and sea salt, if you wish. 
4. Wash the dishes and let cool :)
5. ❤ENJOI

(After returning from the front yard)

My friends were calling my name

I opened my door just in time to see them running

outdoors was the most vivid rainbow I've ever seen

The sky was golden

Everything was golden

Welcome to The Fletcher Collective 

❤August Wylder

handle-bar love letters (bicycle liberation)

the room spun in circles

skin was touching skin

i was wilder than most

i was the only one sober

the rain began to fall outside

we didn't wish to find cover

but embraced it with open arms

with the brightest of smiles

oh, what was her name again

i had myself a crazy lover

rumor has it that she has left town

for good this time, they say

but i saw her bicycle across the road

with the taped up, handle-bar love letters

that i used to write to her

i think that i might just cut that memory free

share it with the brightest parts of the city

but clever words on pages turn to fragments, circles, points and lines

He made the world a grassy road before our bare wandering feet.


Come quick, You Light that knows no evening...
come, alone to the alone! 
There are a thousand half-smiles 
well worth leaving for to take your madness home, 
And You dance inside my chest


She's like a hot cloth on a fevered head
And like a needle she leads me
Well, I follow like thread
And now I haven't even thought about
Killing myself in almost five months.

fade into the distance (that is the world)

with his eyes, wide open
he couldn't be confined any longer
so he packed his things and left

he was tired of what everyone expected of him
it made him sick, it made him dizzy
much like myself
standing motionless was never an option
never a choice for those like us

we believe in the "radical notion"
that no one is more qualified than we are
to decide what our lives will be

so he's off to find
something truthful
something more
something else

my best friend has left me behind
my best friend has disappeared
shared blood runs through our veins

Hope you're getting your kicks,
Best of luck, Benjamin
I'll be with you soon!

♥ Your big brother, August

small airplane noises and invisible nails

my slim wrists reach higher than ever before
this morning was unearthly quiet until i laughed
less is more, we are more, i am more
the world is held together by something invisible
everything is interconnected

Transit and Labor

I am mobile again, thanks to the T.O.A.D. Bicycle Cooperative.

http://toadbike.tumblr.com/

Now I can get to work faster than by car. Bicycles should be the chosen mode of transport through any downtown city, in my humble opinion. No money wasted on gasoline, I'm not destroying the environment, and it's a cardio workout all-in-one!

Less than a year and I'll be free of a system and society that I consider iniquitous. The best part of it is that for the time-being I'm not much of a contributing factor to any of the institutions that I resist. My only place of employment is the local food cooperative. I couldn't think of a better fit for myself. Here's what makes us, the People's Food Co-op of Kalamazoo, different:

• We strive to provide fresh, organic, and whole foods, offering our community healthy choices for a variety of dietary needs.
• We purchase locally grown and produced goods, helping to keep local funds cycling back into our economy.
• We participate in and support our local farmers markets, including the 100 Mile Market, the Kalamazoo Farmers Market (on Bank St), and the Kalamazoo Foods Market.  
• We help provide access to food assistance programs (SNAP benefits) both at the store and at several local farmers’ markets. Everyone should be able to eat healthy, delicious, and local food.
• We provide educational opportunities for our community related to food and food systems (such as cooking classes, tabling, speaking engagements, hosting events at the store and in the community).
• We work together with other organizations. As we are able, we provide sponsorships and donations to organizations and events that support our global ends, making our community a better place.

I don't believe that there is any more suitable place for me to spend the rest of my time before my travels are set in motion. 

Whenever You Breathe Out, I Breathe In (Positive/Negative)

"Hey, haven't seen you around in a while
I didn't go to work for a month
I didn't leave my bed for eight days straight
I haven't hung out with anyone
'Cause if I did, I'd have nothing to say
I didn't feel angry or depressed
I didn't feel anything at all
I didn't want to go to bed
And I didn't want to stay up late
When youre living your life, well, that's the price you pay"
Isaac Brock, Modest Mouse

.....

Relate? Yes.

enjoy the beauty

most nights i would much rather be alone
than in a house filled with out-of-touch strangers
so it's the weekend, but i turned off my phone
i rarely give my number out, as i find it endangers
the time that i wish to spend wandering alone

while the victims of society and substance abuse
feel that they are escaping from the failings of their hopes and schemes
i would much rather find myself in a book or in the surrounding nature.
call me crazy, call me stupid
but i enjoy my freedom and my solitude
under the control of nothing more than my wild dreams
no mind alteration, no lasting side-effects
i don't need any of your social lubricants
i don't need any of your life distractions
i don't need any of your mainstream behaviors
i don't need any of your half-concieved escape plans
i don't need any of your world through hazy eyes
i don't need any

any part of the world your doing your best to create
around a world that you already hate

enjoy the beauty soberly
enjoy the beauty with me
enjoy the beauty of how life could be

angels and snowflakes

shy silhouettes broke through the sunlight shining in my eyes
how could something so pure fall where my feet have touched?
snowflakes and angels, one lives while the other dies
i cover the hole in my chest, because my insides are cold..
my heart's been torn out and thrown across the room
i hide the opening to keep the light from shining in
im sure it will beat again without me soon
but right now i just want to live in darkness and sin

burn out bright

she saw me in the hallway surrounded by people, but alone
everything blurred, but me alone
staring at a map

and we both watched as the seasons changed along with us
from lovers to friends, from friends to lovers
it's wasn't nearly as easy as it sounds

we changed color, shriveled up and died
over and over again
and if we were lucky, we hoped that we might burn out bright

entering and exiting her life through a window in the pale blue moonlight
it's the middle of the night and she might just see me burn out bright
burn out bright as she watches my dark sillouhete get smaller and smaller,
running across her lawn and into the street, i disappear around the corner,
burning out bright...

when we cross paths and i look into her eyes, the last thing i know to say
is to tell her that i don't know what love is, because it's never found me
but she's begun to steal my heart and i missed her today
i only wished to burn out bright in her arms


Photography and Poetry
©August Wylder, 2008

i guess i'm terrified

that i'll be without 

a hand to hold tight, 

without any lips 

to kiss goodnight. 

or anybody to stand with outside 

underneath the flickering lights

i'll dance with strangers 
in the dark all night, 
our bodies so close, 
swaying back and forth to all the slow songs we know by heart.

my lips to her ear, 
i'll whisper so soft, 
"I love you, i need you, follow me."

i'll lead her away from all she knows, 
as far as morality goes. 
through exit doors 
and out onto an open, moonlit dancefloor. 
a children's playground..
we'll dance, 
jump a few fences, 
and i'll think that i love her. 

with only whispers and no sound, 
our breathing gets louder and i leave her behind...

left in the coldness, the darkness. shocked, shivering...

i run, 
jump fences, 
and dance around the playground 
backwards as if being rewound..

i slip through the exit door
and see the most 
beautiful stranger 
standing next to me. 
I slip my arms around her...
our bodies so close, 
swaying back and forth 
to all the slow songs we know by heart. 

i guess i'm terrified.

©August Wylder, 2007

drown in my thoughts

Fields burning at the seams with color in the morning light. Sky scrapers rising from the depths of an ocean made of concrete. My world is seen through the glass of a moving picture show. The green landscapes I've come to never know and the daydreams I know so well. Gazing up at the blue sky as i pass it by, never stopping to wonder why I feel this way. Broken white lines and fixed ones that go on forever. The middle of nowhere ends in the beginning of anywhere. Somewhere along these lines, i'm sure my mind will be made up. The sky darkens as the day slowly dies. The darkest clouds, almost skeleton in comparison, drift like ghosts suspended in air. The small lakeside towns we pass through are frozen in time. The houses, the cars, the people, even the music playing in my head should be somewhere 35 years ago. Orchards under a black sky, lie between individual suburbias. Ligtening infects and plagues the sky to pieces. When finally the clouds relent to their masochistic cravings and bleed the rain. The raindrops hit the glass that holds me and wrap around it. Bleeding more and more, harder and harder, the transparency starts to kick in. Small oceans form on the windshield and drown in themselves as i drown in my thoughts.

Photography and Poetry

©August Wylder, 2008

before my eyes

an obscured memory in the back of my head
all the unforgotten things that were said
you tried your best to bury the hatchet
i as easily just said fuck it
my feelings had died as far as i was concerned
standing at the edge of the bridge you burned
i threw a rock into the water below and watched as it got smaller and smaller..
until fading into the darkness
much like my heart, the water swallowed everything whole
I lifted my gaze to see you standing on the other side
am i always at fault? was it you or i that had lied? 
i said "I'll always be here for you"
you said "I'll never need more than you"
my reflection was cast across the shimmering water
i watched as each of your tears made my image stir
and then you jumped, into the reflection of my arms
knowing i'd always catch you, keep you safe from harm
you fell through, you drowned, right before my eyes


Photography and Poetry
©August Wylder, 2007