every circumstance
every beautiful day
every abysmal day
sometimes it seems that my current situation
is so exceptional
or so ghastly
that the constructs of reality seem to fall in around me
i have been reminded today of many things.
1. My loved ones should always take precedence over anyone else.
Autumn, my enchanting partner,
Benjamin, my best friend for all time,
My Mother & Father, who taught me how to love,
Warmhearted friends across the world, that I have met during this lifelong exploit
They deserve my compassion and time more
2. A lack of sleep
A trouble that I haven't' had since my teenage years
A lack of sustenance
A handful of nuts and a bell pepper won't cut it for an entire day of labor
A cup of coffee
A convenient "aid" that leaves me feeling worse at the end than ever before
this all brings me to
A recipe for emotional and spiritual disaster.
3. To be truly free
I need do exactly what I want
When I want.
I need to know when something is damaging
And do everything in my power to avoid that something.
It sounds difficult sometimes.
But it is so damn easy.
4. To simply enjoy life is to be happy.
To simply enjoy what you have
And what you do not have.
If you don't know what you want
Then you end up with a lot that you don't.
Simplistic contentment isn't something to be mocked for.
5. We all have different needs
Some people need to feel like they are in charge
Some people fear being in charge
It is never possible to meet everyone's needs.
If you try to make everyone happy,
to be everyone's friend,
then you will never be happy.
In ancient Greece there was a word used specifically for the feeling that one has when experiencing happiness. This word is makarios.
To be content.
To know your place.
To be delighted with this place.
(E.
Randolph Richards & Brandon J. O’Brien, Misreading Scripture with Western
Eyes)
It seemed too perfect
"My dream job"
I couldn't quite believe it when I rode away
with a smile on my face.
It seemed too awful
"My nightmare job"
I couldn't quite believe it when I rode away
with a blank, emotionless face.
I didn't want to do anything when I got home.
I was exhausted, but I didn't want to sleep.
I was famished, but I didn't want to eat.
The thought of existing was almost too much to bear.
It seemed to ease my mind
"On Second Thought"
I couldn't believe that it had come and gone so quickly
with a smile on my face.
Nothing feels quite like quitting a job that you hate,
or in this case, a job that I was almost certain that I was going to.
Thank G_D for the present, the past, and the future.
Thank The Almighty for lessons learned and lessons relearned.
Thank The All-Knowing for my current state of makarios.
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